Angela Simmons Opens Up About Suffering An Abusive Relationship: Stuff Is Getting Thrown At Me, I’m Jumping Out Of Moving Cars Because I’m Afraid + Says Going To Therapy Helped Her Get Out
Angela Simmons is bravely sharing her experience with a previous abusive relationship and how it impacted her.
While on Facebook Watch’s Peace of Mind With Taraji, the reality star opened up about being physically abused.
She told the Empire actress why she’s decided to share the intimate details of her experience and said,
“I just felt like after I kinda got through it, like with therapy and stuff. I was like, I know there’s a lot of other girls like me out there. And when I was going through it, I felt kind of isolated. Because like the situation as it’s happening, you don’t even realize because it’s happening so fast, what’s going on. And I just feel like I wanted to be able to use my voice and my platform for other people who were going through that as well. Like, let me just start opening up and talking about it.”
She explained that the relationship was “great at first, obviously” adding:
“I dealt with somebody with a temper and I didn’t know, you know what I mean? It started off as small things. Then next thing you know, stuff’s getting thrown at me. Or I’m against a wall. Or I’m jumping out of moving cars because I’m afraid. Or I’m calling cops. Like, I never thought in a million years I was gonna be that person, you know? And so when I was going through it, I’m like, this is insane. And at the same time, you’re not wanting to tell like no one around you. Because you’re in a relationship with the person, right. And you don’t really want them to judge them. And in a weird way, you’re still guarding them. But like going through it yourself.”
“I didn’t fully see it until it was too late, you know? Like once you’re knee-deep in a relationship and you’re like, is this really my life? And then every time there’s a sorry, I don’t know how you wind up staying. Like, you just, you think they’re really sorry. Or it’s not gonna happen again…I’m always feeling like that. Miss You Want to Fix Everything. ‘I can get them better.’ And, you know, we can go to therapy or something. And it’s like, sometimes it just doesn’t work…I had a really bad night one night, and cops were involved. And I was like, what am I doing?”
Angela Simmons went on to share what potentially served as a turning point for her.
“A lot of it was mental, but then when I started seeing bruises and stuff, I was like, okay, this is actually real.”
Taraji P. Henson shared some of her own similar experiences, revealing that a portion of her lip is still missing after suffering an abusive relationship years ago.
“Yeah, for me it was when blood was drawn…Because it was started with the bruises. And, you know, grabbing and things like that. And then once the fist came, once the ball hand came. And the fist, and I’m just missing a piece of my lip to this day…That’s when I knew I had to go. Because I grew up around it. And at the time I had my son and I was like, I don’t want my son around this. So I had to go. And my son not knowing who he should go to. It just ripped me apart. And that was the moment where I was like, this is a wrap. So I totally, I’m with you.”
Both women explained how the relationships impacted those closest to them.
“That’s what I was going through, right. ‘Cause the person I had the closest, she would be there and by the end of it, it was like she had been through it with me.”
Taraji P. Henson recalled,
“I remember we had gone on vacation once and he blew up in front of my mom. This was right after I graduated from college. And he like got really upset about some drink that had been ordered. And I just remember in my mind, I’m thinking of excuses to tell my parents, to save him.”
“It shook me up, like I felt horrible after it all. You know what I mean? Like I feel broken. You know, maybe it’s me. And that is the hardest part in a relationship. Like when you feel like you’re the reason, like how could I make someone so upset that they’re gonna treat me like that?”
“You’re not yourself. Your energy is drained, you’re constantly worrying about, are they going to snap on me? Is something going to happen today? Are you gonna hit me today? When I’ve got pictures saved in my phone of what you’ve done to me, that’s terrible. You know what I mean? That’s when I was like, I gotta, I have to, this is a part of my purpose, you know what I mean? Like, I need to talk to other women who are going through this because it’s secret. Like you’re living life in a secret and you come out and you would never even know people are going through that. It’s like a cycle over and over until hopefully you get the strength to leave. ‘Cause some people don’t. And that is to me why this conversation is so important because I was there, like I was stuck. I was like, what is wrong with me? Why can’t I get out of this? But it’s love, but I want to stay, you know, like every reason to stay, I stayed.”
She said it was going to therapy that helped her get out.
“I started doing therapy, as I started going through some of this stuff. And the therapist was like, ‘What are you doing?’ Like you just start to realize, for me, I think because I was in therapy, I was able to pull myself out, to be honest with you. Without the therapist, I might’ve just stayed in the cycle.
I think therapy is super important. I really started doing therapy when I lost my son’s father. I didn’t even want to live after that. I was like, I don’t know why I’m even here. Like why would God give me something like that?…What do you tell a four-year-old? I really learned my strength through that. Because when I look back, I’m telling you and I think about actually what happened, I’m like, how did I even get out of it? When I go, ’cause I speak, and I did, I do something called Pressure Makes Diamonds. And it’s under my nonprofit Angela’s Angels but I go and I speak to young women and I’m like, there are girls 17, 16, standing up. Like, ‘What do I do if–’…Like I wasn’t going through that at 17…It breaks my heart that there’s no outlet.”
She shared a message for her younger self, saying:
“I would tell myself to get out quicker…I just stayed longer than I needed to. But I feel like I needed to go through it to be where I’m at right now. To be able to change and to recognize it’s like, you got to replay your story to know what you don’t want to repeat.”
She ended with telling Henson how she sees herself today after what she’s gone through.
“Happy. I feel like that’s my overall objective is happiness and peace. And, boy, do I know, that peace is what I want more than anything now. Waking up to my child. Healthy, happy. Just loving me, like truly. And walking in that and owning that.”
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